Another year and another Timmy’s Takes headlined by poor grammar, lack of structure, but rich on content. We sincerely apologize for the delay in publication but an unfortunate dispute led to some downstream changes that needed to be put into consideration. In the end, Too Spicy as always got their way. The rest of the boys moved on and are now in their final preparation for the 5th annual Big Body Games.

The 2024 Big Body Games was more of the same as Too Spicy took home the hardware and steamrolled the competition on Day 2. However it wasn’t for a lack of effort by the opposing teams. Boost Looters secured a 2nd place finish and US. vs. Zantac finished in last place. Surprisingly after reviewing the results the race for second was close. It didn’t feel like Eliot and Theo won any games last year but apparently they did come home with a handful of victories.

During this year’s take we will take a look back at some of the analysis from the previous year and provide our trusted predictions for 2025. There are many headlines that we will need to dive into this year such as will changing doctors really lead to less heartburn for Eliot or will Joe learn how to actually finish a beer? Don’t worry we have all the answers and many more insights that the readers have been asking for. Like always, settle in, pour out a drink, put some chest on your hair and enjoy!

It pains me to say it, Too Spicy was just Too Good when it mattered. They crushed the field in Polish Horseshoes and even without leading in points in all of the other events (tied in spikeball) they were always in the picture never finishing last. Were some of the wins questionable, absolutely. You don’t have to look far as you can rewatch the highlight tape and the evidence is right there. We can only hope that eager beaver Laviano will learn to stand behind the line and let the frisbee come to him in 2025. Would this have led to a different result? Probably not, but momentum is key and there may have been at least a 2 game swing that could have altered the outcome.

Boost looters hung in there but could not find their rhythm. Kubb was a pain point, finishing dead last with only 2 wins. They had their moments but ultimately had more duds. Once defeats start coming it’s hard for them to regain speed. Some may say nothing could have been done but they had their chances and just couldn’t convert.

We still have a tough time believing that US Vs. Zantac pulled out some victories. If you watched their play it didn’t feel like they won any. However If the results were based on Events won they would have finished in 1st place. Their ultimate demise was in Spikeball as predicted. We didn’t see much spiking and some may question if they truly understood the point of the game. They were able to rebound in beer die as Fade away Bowe helped secure them a first place finish and Ellie did his part in Kubb. It just wasn’t enough and a last place finish was inevitable. It's a long year to wait to get back onto the field.

Keep your heads on a swivel, Lenny is coming back. Eliot secures a new partner this year with Bowe out on paternity leave. Some say Bowe is still reeling from last year’s games and the fans will hope to have him back in 2026. The games this year will be held in the great state of Virginia. The furthest south they have ever played. We expect some rain in the forecast and some chill in the air. The boys will need to navigate their new setting with the hopes of bringing back the title.

Too Spicy

The reigning champs will look to become the first back to back winners in the team format. The chemistry is there especially when it comes to the drinks. Expect more of the same, Joe’s sobriety playing alongside Eric’s tipsiness. We hope Joe decides to loosen up but it may be too much to ask for. We anticipate strong showings in all of the games and they are the definitive favorites heading in. The opposing team's best hope may be that Anduril sends in a helicopter to bring Eric back to work.

Why they can repeat:

They are the reigning champs, and to become the champs you gotta beat the champs. They are the only team that has a legitimate shot at winning every individual event and their track record shows it could be done. With Spikeball back on the table it would be a travesty if they are unable to repeat this year.

Why they will not repeat:

Eric carried Joe in Kubb last year as Joe could not knock down the king. It’s a lot of pressure for Eric to carry on his shoulders. Bucketgolf will be a challenge for them and if a last place finish occurs it may compound the pressure for needing early wins in the other events.

Turn Around Lenny

Easily the crowd favorite entering the tourney. Expect a lot of losses but if they do get some early wins their opponents will be rattled. Their piggyback celebration is the nightmare scenario their opponents hope to avoid and the crowd will be on their feet early hoping to witness a couple of early victories.

Why they can win:

Everybody loves an underdog and they are the definitive ones coming into this year's games. They have the ability to win bucketgolf, cornhole and kubb and if they can sweep in all 3 events they have a shot at taking home the trophy. A lot will rest on which version of Lenny will show up. If Day 2 Lenny arrives early and they can keep it close heading into Saturday, the pressure will mount for the opposing teams.

Why they will not win:

Spikeball will be the #1 reason. If they go 0-12 it will be almost impossible to make up ground on the competitors. We also have them projected for a last place finish in beer die. The events do not favor a Turn Around Lenny victory and Ellie will continue to suffer with heartburn. We expect to see another partner trade in 2026. Will Ellie turn to the help of a pharmacist for optimal management of his heartburn after another last place finish? Only time will tell.

Boost Looters

They are all about momentum and they need to win early. However there are just too many events for them to remain consistent. We expect some “business decision” games where they turn it in early and they will need to be strategic with these to have a chance. The biggest question coming into the games for them is Picca’s foot. Rumor has it he “broke” it on his scooter but we are still waiting for the confirmation video that is soon to be released on TMZ. If Boost can break even in Kubb, we really like their chances.

Why they can win:

Their potential is unlimited but we always question if they would be able to find it. They are strong favorites in spikeball even with Picca’s injury and they are a force to be reckoned with in beer die and cornhole. Their biggest key is to keep the Kubb games short, once the game exceeds 20 min, just hit the king.

Why they will lose:

They miscalculate their business decisions and throw too many games on Day 1. Kubb as always will most likely be their downfall. The game is just too long and not enough opportunities to find boost. The peanut gallery will be rooting for them but we expect a poor showing in Day 2.

BucketGolf

The other BBG games being played this year are staples but the game we are most excited for is Bucketgolf. The BBG is proud to welcome the First ever Big Body Game Invitational. Beers will be drunk, birdies will be made, and if we are lucky some hole out may be found. The holes will be strategically crafted, with the ability to crush the player’s dreams. This will not be your typical gentleman's game. The boys will be chirping with the hope to get in their opponent's mind. In the end, one grouping will make it out on top with the hopes of taking home the trophy.

As a surprise take for this year’s game we have chosen a PGA/LIV golfer that best resembles the players.

Eric Holtzman - Joel Dahlmen

Outcome: 5th place

Like Joel, Eric will be the first one drinking Ellie Palmers for Tee time Friday morning. No one is expecting much but that may be exactly what Eric needs. Will more drinks lead to more birdies, probably not but he will be enjoying himself out there nonetheless. We can only hope for a celebration that matches Joel’s if Joe can hole out.

Eric

Joe Laviano - Denny McCarthy

Outcome: 3rd place

Joe is the smallest of the big bodies which makes Denny Mccarthy the perfect match. The man can’t drive like his PGA counterpart. Expect Joe to continually be playing from behind his competitors but watch out for around the hole. Joe “Mccarthy” Laviano may be the first one to hole out. We expect he will have too much ground to make up and it will keep him out of the runnings for a first place finish.

Eliot Johnson - Maverick McNealy

Outcome: 6th place

We could not have picked a more aligned player for Eliot than the “Mav”. Expect a scorecard all over the place and once the bogeys hit there will be no turning back. This has the makings of a very, very high score from Johnson. More likely than not we will need to buy another club after his round wraps up. However miracles do happen, and like the Mav he has the ability to string together a few holes but we do not think it will be enough.

Nick Panarello - Bryson DeChambeau

Outcome: 1st place

Like Bryson, you either love him or you hate him. The definitive favorite coming into the event. We got a sneak peak of what Nick has to offer and the competitors may not have a chance in this one. The man can crush the bucket golf ball and is surprisingly nifty close up. There is a decent chance he may run away with this one providing Turn Around Lenny with a much needed win.

Nick Picca - Phil Mickelson

Outcome: 2nd place

Nick and Phil, is a match made in heaven. Both heavily down from gambling bets and both pleading with the Saudi’s for additional money to stay afloat. He may be past his prime but Picca does not have to give up on his dreams. Look for vintage Phil to come out of the shadows and be in a battle for a first round finish.

Tim Takach - Will Zalatoris

Outcome: 4th place

So much promise, yet Timmy has not been able to come through like Wil. Wil has been known for his 2nd place finishes at the Majors and ultimately had to miss a full season with injury. Since then he can’t seem to get back on track. The skills are there but he always seems to unravel during the second day. We anticipate a strong Day 1 but he unravels by hole 3 on Day 2.

Cornhole

Winner - BOOST BOOST BOOST

The toss up of this year’s games. The biggest question coming into this event is how slick are the boards. They wreaked havoc in Maryland and led to some questionable games. Lenny is supposedly “treating” the boards prior but who knows what the doctor is going to be treating them with. Boost looters took the win last year and we expect a similar result out of them. We sense a fierce battle shaping up with them and Turn Around Lenny. It will come down to if Eliot can keep Lenny engaged enough to stay in the battle and not focus on operating on Picca’s foot.

Polish Horseshoes

Winner - Too Spicy

Watch the line Joe, watch the line. We do not expect Joe and Eric to win with offense but yet again with another defensive masterpiece. Joe’s been out on the course playing disc golf and we wait to see if this will translate over. We anticipate a strong showing from Eric, settling in during day 2 to win some offensive points. The real battle will be for second. Boost looters remain a consistent threat in this one and Ellie’s dreams will be placed in the hands of Lenny once again. If Lenny comes out strong, they may even have a shot for first place.

Beer Die

Winner - Boost Looters

Going to call it now, Eliot’s team will not repeat as winners. We are curious to see who will end up catching the dice for them and in the end it most likely will be no one. Expect some tense moments regarding the height of the participant’s throws and Boost Looters are the current heavy favorites for the first swish. As the final game played in the BBG it usually comes down to beer consumption. We expect Eric’s modelo consumption to keep Too Spicy from taking the win.

Kubb

Winner - Turn Around Lenny

This will be a battle between Too Spicy and Turn Around Lenny. Whoever loses first to Boost Looters will ultimately end up in second place. Boost may not win often in this event but don’t allow them to stick around and steal a couple of wins. Bucket Hat Timmy will be back in action and it could lead to a surprise breakthrough. My bold prediction for this game is that Turn Around Lenny will go undefeated in this event. Ellie stays loose after his 5th Ellie Palmer and he is able to roll through the opponents. Too Spicy will struggle with the king and Boost Looters are just not good enough.

Spikeball

Winner - Too Spicy

We left spikeball for last as it’s the most controversial game headed into the BBG. There is still a strong likelihood that Timmy will not even bring it. Too Spicy needed this game in order to help pad their stats and get some easy wins. This will be a two-way contest between Boost and Too Spicy. Eric will attempt an ankle lock on Picca, destroying their dreams. As always, Timmy watches on, too scared to jump in. It pains me to say it but I have Too Spicy as the winners here, but they are also going to need it.

Too Spicy will repeat as champions in 2025. The other teams will have some soul searching to do as they will need to find a way to dethrone them in 2026. The battle for second will be close but Turn Around Lenny will go winless in Spikeball and they will not be able to overcome the losses.

1. Too Spicy

2. Boost Looters

3. Turn Around Lenny

Biggest Body (Weight) - Panarello

Biggest Body (Spirit) - Ellie

Well that’s a wrap, and we thank you for the time in reading through this year’s Timmy Takes. We wish the boys best of luck in their final days of preparation. We will see you back next year in 2026.